The Most Common Kinks People Have

Updated: 10/08/2019

I felt like writing something a little different today. In the book I am currently reading the writer keeps referring to the main characters kinks, he has some intriguing fetishes and it got me thinking about other people and what turns them on that they don’t realize is quite common.

I took to Reddit and found that most people are turned on by the same kind of kinks, of course, there are some exceptions but there are things out there that we are all made to feel guilty about but actually most people are seriously turned on by them because, well, they are amazing.

Learning all of this made me want to share some of the kinks I have and some of the kinks I know other people have got and I wanted to make them normal by showing you just how common these ‘taboo’ kinks actually are and why they are fantasized and explored by so many people.

1). Anal Sex (Putting it in the butt) 

Anal sex and butt play, in general, is a HUGE kink amongst men and women. I think it’s because we are told not to go near the butt that everyone wants to go near the butt.

There are a few different kinks associated with the butt in general but here are the 4 most butt related common kinks:

  • Ass licking (this is what happened when a one night stand licked my butt)
  • Anal sex
  • Prostate Play (My boyfriend used a prostate massager)
  • Sex toys (butt plugs, anal vibrators, and beads).

These top four butt kinks come in all different shapes and sizes and everyone can get off on different types of things but overall butt play is a huge thing and something at least 2/3 people think about doing.

2). BDSM (I’m guilty)

BDSM/bondage is one of my biggest kinks, it really turns me on and I get off on so many aspects of it and I am most definitely not alone.

These are some of my favorite DIY BDSM tricks and techniques and fantasies. Just like with a lot of these kinks there are so many factors that go into BDSM and it doesn’t necessarily mean you love to be tied up and whipped, there’s so much more to it than that, although, that is fun.

  • Bondage – Bondage for me is being my partners ‘slave’, being tied up, restrained and dominated by my partner or vice versa. This is my most used bondage kit.
  • Domination & Submission – Dom and sub roles are often found when practising some form of BDSM. It’s the act of either being the dominant or the submissive partner, just make sure to try out both roles.
  • Masochism – Masochism is when you find sexual gratification from pain or humiliation. A huge kink for so many people and most of them don’t even know it.

Other parts of BDSM

There are lots of different aspects of BDSM but I just wanted to include some of the key ones.

3). Voyeurism

Enjoying watching voyeur or being a voyeur is way more common than you would think. Voyeurism is the act of gaining sexual pleasure from watching someone engage in a sexual activity or getting off and having sex whilst someone watches you.

These are just some of the ways people enjoy voyeurism:

  • Sex on webcam
  • Sex in public
  • Sex at a sex club
  • Sex while someone watches and masturbates/watching sex

There are lots of online sites that allow you to watch real voyeurism and engage in the activity with real people thanks to meetups and online groups.

4). Group Sex & Threesomes (My favorite 😍) – M/F/M, M/M/M, F/M/F, F/F/F, etc

Group sex and threesomes are one of my favorite ways to get off. My boyfriend and I don’t do it so much anymore we prefer to simulate a threesome with sex toys.

However, in the past, we have been known to engage in some serious threesomes and group sex activities and I can still get wet thinking back to them.

Even just fantasizing about threesomes is a huge kink and can easily be replicated by simulating a threesome, however actually having a threesome and having group sex is a whole other story and something probably even your old neighbour gets off on.

5). Age Play

cartoon aging

Getting off by having sex with someone older or someone younger than you. It can be roleplayed between you and your partner as I mentioned in this roleplay ideas article, however, of course, it can’t really beat the real thing.

One of my biggest kinks is getting off thinking about having sex with a much older man whilst I am 18 but I am way over 18 and it’s just a fantasy I like to keep in the back of my head and bring out when I am masturbating sometimes.

Lots of people have this kink, they like to think about having sex with older/younger people and get hugely off on the idea of it.

6). Cuckolding/Cuckquean (I’m guilty of this) 

cartoon being cuckolded

Watching your partner have sex and be pleasured by another person is called being a cuckold or cuckquean for women.

I love this kink and it really makes me horny having my boyfriend watch me be fu**ed by someone else.

Being a cuckold or cuckquean can also fall along the lines of enjoying degradation or humiliation and get off on this. Enjoying watching your partner be pleasured whilst you sit on the sidelines and be ignored and/or humiliated.

7). Sexual Humiliation

cartoon sexual humiliation another cartoon

Where you’re made to feel like you’re not worth it and a piece of dirt or you’re laughed at and mocked by the person you have sex with.

This one isn’t something that really interests me but I have seen someone humiliated in a sex club and I must say it was quite thrilling and they were certainly enjoying themselves.

Sexual humiliation can also make its way into BDSM/bondage due to its forceful nature and a lot of people end up getting spanked.

8). Pregnancy Fetishism

There’s a lot of men who fantasize about having sex with pregnant women, they see it as an erotic phenomenon.

A lot of men don’t find out they have this fetish until their partner is actually pregnant and they find themselves becoming increasingly aroused about the idea.

Some people even go as far as to buy pregnancy bellies so that they can roleplay and fantasize about the idea of being pregnant and have sex with a huge pregnant stomach.

9). Out Of World Sex Toys/Fantasies

alien dildo

Otherworldly sex toys and fantasies are very common. Fantasizing about being an alien or being visited by an alien, dressing up as an immortal being, roleplaying about characters and mystical creatures, all of these things are a huge kink.

These are just some of the ‘out of this world’ fantasy/mythical sex toys you can find:

  • Sex toys made with the idea of giants ()
  • Vampire sex toys

10). Large Play

big sex toys

This is a kink of mine, I love large sex toys and oversized things. There’s something that gets me off about being ‘filled’ and stretching myself to the limit and I know I am not alone. Lots of people enjoy stretching and trying to fill them themselves up to the max and mostly because it feels absolutely amazing.

These are some of the things people who enjoy large play enjoy:

  • Fisting (I tried my first fisting sex toy)
  • Large vibrators ()
  • Attraction to Hung Men
  • Oversized sex toys

11). Small Play

small penis fetish

Small play is a kink that refers to women and men who prefer small penises and sex toys. It’s a pretty straightforward kink and the women and men who get off on it are masters at it.

12). Pegging

figure cartoons pegging

Pegging refers to the kink of female partners who want to penetrate their partner with a dildo. I wrote a whole article about what happened when I tried pegging my boyfriend.

Pegging is done anally with a handheld dildo or a strap-on dildo. Sometimes the male will like to be humiliated, dressed up as a woman or just as themselves enjoying P-spot penetration.

13). Cum Fetish (Creampie)

cuming vector cartoon

Having a cum fetish consists of quite a vast spectrum of different things. It can be guys and girls who enjoy the act of creampie, girls and girls loving cum and craving it inside of them, on them, on their underwear, in their mouth and just about everywhere else.

Having a cum fetish can also involve making your cum shot longer and more filled with cum, by taking vitamins.

Those who have a cum fetish enjoy cum more than the average person and would feel no shame in having cum dripping down their face and licking it off with their tongue.

14). Anonymous Sex

anonymous sex

Having anonymous sex with strangers at clubs, bars, on tinder, anyone anywhere. Having an alter ego and fu**ing random people is a kink preferred by many. It can be a risky kink but being someone else for the night and using them for sex isn’t as uncommon as you would think.

15). Chastity

cartoon figure trying chastity

Having a chastity kink means to withhold from sexual intercourse usually with the help of a chastity sex accessory.

People wear these devices outside of the house and inside the bedroom whilst being teased and punished for becoming aroused.

  • My favorite .

16). Ball Stimulation

vector testicles and penis

Ball simulation kink is for those men who love their balls, sucked, massaged, dominated and played with and for women men’slove men’s balls and love sucking them, dominating them and playing with them.

Ball stimulation can also be quite ‘rough’ and the person doing the dominating can apply pressure and pain to the balls to cause sexual satisfaction to both themselves and the male.

17). Double Penetration

two man figures and one female

Double penetration is another favorite of mine, I just love the sensation of having both holes filled. Now that my boyfriend and I are in a mostly monogamous relationship I can satisfy this kink and need by using sex toys. (If you are in an open relationship check out my open relationship rules).

However, although sex toys are amazing and make me cum with precision, there is something so hot about having sex with two actual real men and enjoying thrilling pleasure with two cocks.

18). Exhibitionism

exhibitionism cartoon

Having a kink for exhibitionism is all about getting off when exposing yourself sexually indecently. This can be an incredibly risky kink but on a small level people still get off on it. Things like wearing a skirt so short you can see your underwear, letting people see that you have a clear hard on, things like that.

There’s a large spectrum on exhibitionism and it can vary from small things like exposing your butt in a short skirt all the way to exposing yourself at a party.

19). Mutual Masturbation

mutual masturbation

Mutual masturbation consists of watching porn together, masturbating together and using sex toys. Never actually touching one another but touching yourself and getting yourself off whilst your partner is there next to your waiting to cum at the exact same time.

Mutual masturbation is ideal for long-distance couples and kinky couples alike, it can be so thrilling and it is incredibly hot.

20). Custom Dressup & Roleplay

stickman figures roleplaying

People living out their fantasies with costumes and dressing up isn’t uncommon and it’s a great way to live out scenarios and fantasies that you otherwise wouldn’t have been able to do. Here are just some of the things people like to do when dressing up:

  • Pretending to be someone you’re not.
  • Pretending to be a fictional character.
  • Cartoon
  • Fiction
  • Anime
  • Job role (soldier, police, prostitute, porn star, lawyer).

There’s so much roleplay to be had when wearing different costumes and so many different scenarios that you are able to live out. If you want to get started start with something to get hold of like a nurse’s costume and work your way up to find other outfits and dress up items.

22). Sleeping Fetish

sleeping figures

A sleeping fetish is those people who like to fantasize about having sex with someone who is asleep. This is between two consenting adults one of which pretends to be asleep whilst the other does what they want to them.

Sometimes the sleeping party wakes up midway through and other times they wake up a while later and claim they had an unusual dream.

23). Sexual ASMR

sound wave

If you don’t know what ASMR it’s when someone or something triggers a sort of ‘brain orgasm’ off in your head. This can be triggered by gentle whispering, by clicking their nails on a hard surface, eating and all other sorts of noises.

Sexual ASMR is just like that but it triggers a brain orgasm with sexual ASMR chat, sexual noises,

Questions About These Fetishes

common kinks questions

I just wanted to clear up a few of the most popular questions about some of these kinks, if you have any more just leave them in the comments below.

  • How do I know if my partner has the same fetishes as me?

Talk about it and let them know what kinks you have and what turns you on, you may be surprised at how open they might be to try them out.

You could also try  that allows you to both take a test and submit your answers anonymously and find out what kinks and fetishes you have in common.

  • Which of these kinks would you recommend to a beginner?

Honestly, I don’t think I can answer that question because many of the kinks above can be tried out by a beginner. Just see what turns you on and go with it, I think something that you and your partner are both comfortable with that doesn’t involve anyone else would be the best.

  • How do I try these fetishes without ruining my relationship?

The best advice I can give you is to talk it through with your partner and see where their kinks are and what they would be comfortable with trying. The best way to not ‘ruin’ your relationship is to try a fetish that involves just you two and isn’t too challenging, for instance, mutual masturbation.

common sexual fetish infographic


Leave a Reply
  1. Wow such an exciting list of kinks. I myself is quite guilty of a few of them, especially number 17 😉
    Thanks for sharing!


  2. Wife and I are swingers. And just recently started getting into alot of bondage and bdsm stuff. We can check off almost everything you wrote about. You hit the nail on the head. We want to try so much more and would love any help anyone can give me.

  3. One of my kinks is having sex in panties or a thong. My wife loves watching two guys sucking each other in panties

  4. We all have our own likes, all different. I like to crossdress with other crossdressers…difficult to find, but my girlfriend loves to dress me and play, and my hairstylist a mature woman likes to dress me and take pictures, than show them to her clients. She gets a kick from guys that want her to fix me up with them.

  5. I really didn’t know how kinky I was until I read your article. I hit almost all of them certainty going to try some new ones you kindly pointed out to me. Oh thank you very much for that LoL. Thanks again for opening up my eyes.

  6. I am a kinky person but my spouse has been traditionally very conservative. Over the years she has indulged me and has grow to love so many of the things I love. I am always so careful to talk thing through with her and we only ever do what we agree to. Recently we experimented with strapping each other down and I would never have guessed how into that my spouse would get. It has only been a short time since this has been added to our sex lives, but I can’t remember the two of us ever being happier with one another. There are so many negative stereotypes pushed down everyone’s throats (🤗) that people are afraid to express themselves sexually. I wish the world would open their eyes and just let people be themselves without all the judgement.

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